Last week I went to London to see Richard Bandler. Richard Bandler is co creator of NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming), NLP is a model of interpersonal communication massively influential in management training and coaching. I didn’t like what I found.
The event I attend was a three hour talk by Bandler at a hotel in London, attended by several hundred people. Dr Bandler came across to me as a mix of Cyril Sneer, Hannibal Lecteur and Saruman from Lord of The Rings after he goes power crazy. I trust my character assessments which are informed by the psychology and somatics I’ve studied and have served me well in hostile climates before. They are however personal so take this article or leave it. What I know is that I felt uneasy from the moment I walked in the hotel door in London and relief on walking out an hour before the finish (a first for me in any training seminar). Here’s a few of the things that I saw which I didn’t like:
- A love of manipulation
- A lack of concern for consent
– Concretely I saw him delight in a number of stories of how he hypnotised unwilling people into giving him what he wanted over the years. Told with humour and insinuation these were never-the-less disturbing and really don’t match my values. There also seemed to me an number of embedded commands (I’ve studied some hypnosis) about buying books in his talk – his were on sale outside the lecture theatre. I heard an audience member tell a friend how she was “using NLP” on her husband to get a bigger divorce settlement – impact and influence don’t bother me – this orientation around it however strikes me as unethical and inhumane.
- Evangelical style
– Maybe it’s just my UK sensibilities that didn’t like the US showman approach. The entrance music I can put up with, using an “anchor” very much like a sigh of the cross just creeped me out though.
- Threats
– Richard Bandler made or referred to subtle threats a number of times “Don’t make the hypnotist angry.” When an audience member took his picture without permission he started giving them a set of commands to do with impotence in a angry tone – before saying “cancel that command” and joking it away.
- A lack of warmth and care
– While funny and charismatic I didn’t see any compassion or warmth from Richard Bandler. This is of course subjective.
- A massive resentment against therapists
– I’d estimate that Dr Bandler spent a third to half of the talk making disparaging remarks about therapists (“PSYCHOtherapists like SICKMAN Fraud!!!”). I actually like the fact that he asks therapists to be accountable and provide an evidence base for what they do. I like the fact that NLP models what works and people who are a success – focusing on learning rather than what is broken. I didn’t like the tone of hate and incessant berating of a group of people I have nothing against.
Normally on this blog I just write about positive things I value. In this case however I feel compelled to say what I saw. I don’t want to tar all of NLP with this brush either – and I’m concerned that readers may take this to be an attack on anyone who practices. I have met a number of honourable and compassionate NLP practitioners who I am completely at ease with – two of my own associates for a start. What I am saying is that based on the little I saw of Richard Bandler specifically, I would never recommend him to anyone I care about. Does NLP work? Quite possibly. Does the NLP of Richard Bandler I saw work for me. No.