{"id":1941,"date":"2011-05-20T12:54:32","date_gmt":"2011-05-20T11:54:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/?p=1941"},"modified":"2011-05-20T12:54:32","modified_gmt":"2011-05-20T11:54:32","slug":"body-leadership-chapter-narrative-extracts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/2011\/05\/body-leadership-chapter-narrative-extracts\/","title":{"rendered":"The Body and Leadership – Chapter 3 Narrative Extracts"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here are the supporting narrative extracts from chapter three of my upcoming book The Body and Leadership<\/a>.<\/p>\n

…………………………<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

12<\/strong>th<\/sup><\/strong> September 2004, Somewhere over the Mediterranean<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Body of Dreams<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

My eyes bulge paranoid as I try to get my bearings. When you wake up quick, for the first few seconds you don\u2019t know who or where you are. In half a second I\u2019ve scanned the plane and know that I\u2019m safe this time. I unclench my fists and jaw.\u00a0 In two seconds I remember I\u2019m on a plane to Cyprus and must have dozed off. I breathe; I\u2019m not in that street in Cambridge or any of the conflict I\u2019m heading for. What kind of a idiot has nightmares about the learned spires of Cambridge? I remember why I\u2019m traveling – it seems like a dream.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve slept a lot of places near strangers \u2013 buses, scummy hostels, at parties with ashtrays as pillows.\u00a0 I\u2019ve slept with<\/em> quite a few strangers, but let\u2019s not go there now.<\/p>\n

When I\u2019m asleep I know what\u2019s going on around me most of the time. Only strong dreams like the one I\u2019ve just had can take that away. Turbulence is rocking the plane and it must have shaken me awake. When I come to somewhere I\u2019m not used to \u2013 and that\u2019s a lot of days, I\u2019m ready to fight. I can have a conversation before I open my eyes. It\u2019s fun for freaking people out.\u00a0 When I\u2019m not blind drunk I\u2019m not sure if I\u2019m really asleep at all to be honest. The fight is so ingrained in my system peace seems like someone else\u2019s blood type.<\/p>\n

The people around me are fat and happy. Middle-aged Brits going on package tours to the sun. They\u2019ll have people waiting for them at the airport, holding signs with misspelt names and company logos. I\u2019ll have no one which I guess has been my choice. I don\u2019t know whether to envy them. Landing is always the lonely part \u2013 I prefer taking off. After each trip abroad I hate remerging through customs. I scan the faces waiting for loved ones secretly hoping that an old friend or family member may have turned up for a surprise.\u00a0 I know it\u2019s ridiculous but that\u2019s what I do. Inevitably I\u2019m let down and I begin the next part of my journey to somewhere that isn\u2019t home.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a program on the monitors about the mouflon \u2013 a kind of mountain goat that Cyprus Airways is helping to conserve apparently. Good for them \u2013 and good for the passengers \u2013 we get to feel gooey about the environment while burning gallons of diesel per second. The woman next to me offers a mint. I like her; she\u2019s like a chubby version of my mum. She can tell I\u2019ve been having a nightmare and wants to make me feel better. She\u2019d offer me tea if she could I\u2019m sure. \u201cBlack Death?\u00a0 Never mind dearey, I\u2019ll put the kettle on.\u201d I take the mint, and force a smile.<\/p>\n

In a more arrogant moment I would say that the other passengers are strangers to themselves. Without a practice of some kind – and it needn\u2019t be aikido – how can you know yourself? I can tell if a person has sharpened their edge in some way \u2013 meditators, snowboarders, artists and musicians \u2013 they have visible edge if they seriously pursue what they do…for better and for worse.<\/p>\n

Aikido has been a mirror to look at myself with. Like dreams the mirror shows you what you need and well as what is. You don\u2019t see just see what you want to see when you look for a while . It\u2019s too much for most people, myself included a lot of days.<\/p>\n

If you stop an animal dreaming by shocking them awake when they enter REM sleep, they go insane and die within a week or two. You can last longer without food than without dreams. Alcohol suppresses dream sleep, it\u2019s one causes of the mental health problems associated with abuse. For years I tried to hide from my dreams, they were too strong, too disturbing and paradoxically too real. What do you do when you\u2019re scared of closing your eyes at night?<\/p>\n

I envy the people around me. I\u2019m as foreign to the regular English here as they are to the Cypriots on board. I wonder what the man snoring in front of me is dreaming? Maybe about his yearly fortnight of sun, sea and ogling topless bathers. Good luck to him. If\u00a0 I\u2019d zigged instead of zagged somewhere back down the line, I\u2019d probably be dreaming of margaritas on the beach too. Whoever you are reading this, and whatever you do, I hope you have a nice dream.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

13<\/strong>th<\/sup><\/strong> September, Pathos\/ Nicosia Cyprus<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Body of History<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

Shaking along dusty roads in the cheapest transport I could find, bumping against sweaty immigrant labour and taking in the dusty countryside out the dirty window. Cyprus gave the impression of being a country on the up, with plenty of investment and new commerce. Some of what I saw along the road could have been in the UK at first sight. Post boxes for example were of the classic English design, but yellow not red – like home but just off which is weirder than truly foreign. The British ruled Cyprus until the sixties when there was a short but nasty guerilla war. Two \u201csovereign bases\u201d as well as the British part of the UN contingent were still on the island, so the connection was still very much there. As well as being a popular tourist spot, thousands of Brits had retired on the island. The appeal apparently being that it reminded them of home but the weather was better<\/p>\n

Historically the Brits were only the last in a long line of invaders. Cyprus was Europe\u2019s final outpost before the Middle East (it was possible to hop across to Lebanon by ferry). The crusaders used the island as a staging post for their military campaigns, the French Lusignan dynasty setting up home here after getting kicked out of Jerusalem, along with the Knights of St John. After came the Venetians and the Ottomans.\u00a0 Throughout it all the Cypriots seemed to get on OK themselves and gained a reputation as savvy, adaptable traders.\u00a0 This seemed to fit the picture that I could see today. Stylish shops lined the roads into Nicoissa, the island\u2019s historical capital, and the pavements were full of well-dressed people busy looking sharp. Cypriots had a reputation as being showy \u2013 even the churches were somewhat glitzy. I saw several being built on the way \u2013 religion, at least in terms of wealth \u2013 wasn\u2019t on decline here. I\u2019d read the church is a huge landowner, which along with its production of the endemic Keo beer and associations with nationalism, kept the orthodox Jesus smiling. For years his colorful Archbishop Makarios ran the country, before being ousted by forces from mainland Greece. This preceded ethnic violence and in the \u201874 Turkish invasion.<\/p>\n

In the end I get to Nicosia half an hour before I\u2019m due to meet Philip Emminger \u2013 the Training Across Borders project manager. I\u2019m tired and confused. I try to escape the intense sun and wonder down some stone steps into a small park. It was in one of the bastions of the mammoth Venetian wall that surrounded the Old Town of Nicosia.\u00a0 Built to withstand the Ottomans\u00a0 – though eventually proving useless \u2013 the wall was an eleven-pointed star. It 40 foot thick walls and triangular bastions enclosed such features as car parks, tennis courts and museums.<\/p>\n

I find some shade and start to doze. Around me dozens of scrawny cats weave, occasionally stopping to meow lazily. I\u2019ll learn that people like cats here \u2013 but mostly there\u2019s not owned as pets like in England. They just live around and get food from different people and from the street. Apparently queen Whoever of the ancient Whocares bought them over to get rid of the snakes that used to infest the island (how?). She also bought the \u201cOne True Cross\u201d that Christ was crucified on, so I guess she had a big suitcase.<\/p>\n

A young mother is pushing her child on a swing and smiles warily when I wave at her son. I haven\u2019t shaved or washed for a couple of days and lying on the prickly grass, head on my bag, I must look like a hobo. A ninja hobo<\/em> I think with a smile, wallowing in the fantasy<\/p>\n

The boy waves back and shout something in Greek that probably means, \u201cHello scruffy sleepy ninja silly man!\u201d Parents in the park are leaving their children on a longer leash than in the UK, but no harm seems to come of it.\u00a0 You can tell a lot about a culture by how they treat their children<\/p>\n

As I get up I notice the flowers on the bushes all around.\u00a0 They\u2019re each a pretty mix of a variety of bright shades.\u00a0 Each flower contains two colours in rings and is star shaped like the walls of the city. I wonder if they\u2019ve been bought or bred here with this in mind. The Greek and Turks lived side by side like this for a long time but not now.<\/p>\n

Ok, time to get on with it. I spoke to Philip on the phone and took a liking to him despite being more American than an apple pie making a late entry into World War II while selling you a hamburger. I meet him in the reception of his hotel he\u2019s all \u201cHave a nice day!!!\u201d smile, and infectious energy.<\/p>\n

\u201cMark?\u00a0 It\u2019s sooo good to finally meet you. How are you?\u201d he doesn\u2019t pause for an answer.<\/p>\n

Dressed in kharki combat trousers, a bright blue shirt and a bum-bag he looks like a CNN reporter roughing it for the camera. He calls his bum bag a \u201cfanny pack\u201d which while I\u2019ve heard this Americanism before is still funny. I don\u2019t tell him that \u201cfanny\u201d means vagina and idiot in the one true tongue, and vow not to slip into call it a moron-vag-bag as he seems far to nice and intelligent.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is all so exciting, we\u2019ve got a lot to do. Leave your stuff here, first stop the Ledra crossing!\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019s a manic puppy and I\u2019m soon jogging along behind him. His hotel is by a section of town that was once Green Line but has recently been returned to the south. Gutted shops and decaying pockmarked gun positions define the neighborhood. Moving into this gap are more of the immigrants I shared a bus with earlier, squatting maybe ten per house. Catholic and Armenian cathedrals, with their front doors on the Southside and their backs to the North mark the boundary, but we can\u2019t cross here.<\/p>\n

We walk under a medieval passage-way to one of the few gateways to the old city. The gargantuan oak doors are clearly not from Ikea and certainly several hundred years old. Coming out into the sunshine we\u2019re at the edge of the Venetian wall. Signs in UN-sky-blue state that photography is not permitted. Philip cheerfully and adorably ignores these and I suspect if he were caught and it was really a big deal, we could always play the dumb tourists card. He reminds me in this regard of a colonial Michael Palin who in his BBC travel series employs underestimation to phenomenal effect.<\/p>\n

We look high above to the bastion that forms part of the division here between north and south. Elsewhere the Green Line is at least as thick as a street.\u00a0 Here it\u2019s just the edge of the wall. A chain-link fence and a drop is all that\u2019s between north and south.\u00a0 Several shabbily dressed northerners are standing staring down with hungry eyes, their fingers clutching the wire.\u00a0 The north is poverty ridden, while the south is one of the richest countries in the EU. On one side is a roundabout at which a selection of new BMW\u2019s and Mercedes circle, on the other, frustration and hopelessness.<\/p>\n

A year ago many travel restrictions between north and south were lifted, but not all.\u00a0 I\u2019d heard that there were many poor immigrants from mainland Turkey in the north who can\u2019t travel, and those looking longingly down were probably among them. Their hands were like seagull claws wrapped around the wire mesh. That\u2019s what we all want isn\u2019t it \u2013 that better life on the other side of the wall?<\/p>\n

I accompany Philip past the first Geek checkpoint to the Ledra.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon gave me some exciting news yesterday.\u00a0 Can you keep a secret?\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m curious. \u201cSure.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cApparently XXXX XXXXX is interested in the project and wants to meet him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou serious?\u201d\u00a0 This was all way out of my league.<\/p>\n

\u201cIncredible isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

I shake my head, this thing just keeps getting bigger and weirder. The words \u201cbit-off\u201d and \u201cchew\u201d choke my dry mouth.<\/p>\n

Philip knocks on the Ledra\u2019s front gate and an armed sentry appears in a sun-faded beret.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes mate?\u201d It\u2019s hardly the, \u201cWho goes there?\u201d that the surroundings might suggest, but the accent is familiar and I smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi mate!\u00a0 Its Mr Emminger and his British friend. Here to see Captain Weston.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re on the list, yes. I\u2019ll call him down.\u201d<\/p>\n

The gate opens and we\u2019re ushered in. The little boy in me is absolutely loving all this James Bond shit.<\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain Weston, community liaison and bi-communal representative.\u00a0 Call me John.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPhilip Emminger, Aiki Extensions, and Mark my\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAssistant.\u201d\u00a0 I step forward.<\/p>\n

We shake hands \u2013 Weston\u2019s grip is firm but not overpowering. His body is upright, string vertically but relaxed, and leans backwards. If you\u2019re listening, you can tell everything you need to know about a person from their handshake and posture. We are always revealing ourselves.<\/p>\n

He looks about thirty, carries a look of slightly weary confidence. He seems more sensitive than your average military type, probably why they gave him his job. \u201cCommunity liaison and bi\u2026\u201d Good UN bullshit title. This guy seemed like he was happy to have something to do for a change and was friendly and helpful as he showed us around.<\/p>\n

The inside of the Ledra Palace Hotel must have looked really nice once, now I got the impression that each time something nice broke it was replaced with something functional that the military could afford. On a wall inside were street maps with areas shaded in red.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are these?\u201d Philip asked.<\/p>\n

Slightly embarrassed, \u201cOh, that\u2019s where we can\u2019t go drinking. Bars where there\u2019s been trouble, anti UN sentiment, that kind of thing. It isn\u2019t too bad these days.\u201d<\/p>\n

Around us a few soldiers stroll \u2013 well pressed uniforms, but no one\u2019s in a hurry. A man wearing only Bermuda shorts and tattoos nods as he walks by Captain Weston. Its feels like a cross between a holiday camp and a military base. The only slightly up-tight looking soldier I see is a female MP with big tits. I guessing there are a lot of naughty boys around.<\/p>\n

Making someone look important is an art. It\u2019s a useful show for getting things done. People reason if you\u2019re deferring to someone then they must be worth helping out. It\u2019s infectious. Beyond opening doors and the like the best thing you can sometimes do is just stand back. People are never quite sure who you are, especially when you have a vague title like \u201cassistant\u201d. I\u2019m doing this now, to smooth the cogs a bit for Philip. He\u2019s obviously keen on details, measuring and asking very specific questions. I\u2019m guessing there\u2019s going to be a lot of details to juggle by the spring and he seems to be the right man for the job.<\/p>\n

After a fascinating look around (I feel like we\u2019ve had a \u201cbehind the scenes\u201d movie tour) we ask captain Weston if he knows somewhere good for lunch.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d go north. It\u2019s cheaper and between you and me the people are friendlier. More open, maybe just less sick of tourists.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what\u2019s the politics like here at the moment?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026we were all holding out on the Annan Plan of course.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe UN reunification thing.\u201d We\u2019d done some homework.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, that\u2019s right. There were a lot of well meaning folks here from New York, but I got the impression they hadn\u2019t really done their homework. Hadn\u2019t spoke to the locals enough you know. The north said yes to it, but the south rejected it. There\u2019s a lot of propaganda\u2026you see the \u201cOxi\u201d graffiti everywhere?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat means \u201cNo\u201d right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCorrect.\u00a0 The yes vote didn\u2019t really stand a chance in the south. There was an issue with military bases and also with money. The north is broke and the Greeks don\u2019t want to have to pay to rebuild it. They don\u2019t like reaching into their pocket at the best of times, let alone to help the Turks out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeems like a shame.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, it\u2019ll happen. The old guard wont last forever. The EU is changing matters too. Turkey wants membership so they\u2019ll have to sort this out.\u00a0 It\u2019s all still a bloody mess at the moment but I can\u2019t see the UN being here in ten years.\u00a0 Mind you, I bet people were saying that ten years ago\u2026a lot of countries have pulled out of the operation as it\u2019s dragged on.\u201d<\/p>\n

Captain Weston looks really sick of it all, like he\u2019s been trying to help people who are happier hating each other.<\/p>\n

Philip and I go north. The Turkish checkpoint is gruff but no problem. On the other side are taxis, tour guides and money changers. We get a few million, billion Lire <\/strong>then stroll around. The difference is noticeable straight away.\u00a0 The whole place is run down, but everywhere we go we see cheery faces and grubby kids waving at us.\u00a0 In south Nicosia there\u2019s a characteristic expression of irritated superiority, here it\u2019s much more welcoming<\/p>\n

Philip tells me his life story and philosophy as we walk. Americans are disturbingly open about these things and Californians beat the lot. Yanks embarrass Brits with their openness and forward body, but it\u2019s a good thing too – why hang back too much. My family are of Irish origin so aren\u2019t fully uptight, much \u201cwider\u201d than most English people in our posture. I remember as a child being horribly embarrassed when my parents would talk to strangers! \u00a0 These days like so many things I\u2019ve started doing what they do. The teenage prayer: \u201cDear god, please may I turn out different from these two weirdos who surely adopted me\u201d has gone unanswered again.<\/p>\n

Actually, Philip\u2019s is an interesting story. He\u2019s a self made man, whose business has something to do with refitting banks. He runs his work force along \u201caiki-lines\u201d which I don\u2019t quite get \u2013 I don\u2019t think he puts them in arm-locks when they\u2019re late for work \u2013 but is obviously working out well for him.\u00a0 He tells me about how he realised that, \u201cFear is the opposite of love\u201d and about his young wife who is currently trying to take him for everything he\u2019s worth in a bitter settlement.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have kids Philip?\u201d\u00a0 I ask.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeeaaaahhh, a son \u2013 Daniel, he\u2019s the love of my life. He\u2019s four.\u201d Philip obviously does love him very much. His body is opening and his face doing that proud (see also weird and delusional) parent thing.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s this divorce affecting him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh we try not to put him in the middle. Daniel and I are very close – I had a bigger part in raising him than most dads do \u2013 I\u2019d take him everywhere when he was a baby. At work we say he\u2019s the chief drain to productivity as he\u2019s always there distracting us.\u201d Philip laughs, and looks fondly far away, a little sadness in his eyes.<\/p>\n

I always think of the kids in divorces.\u00a0 I have no die about this guy, but people are normally so fucking selfish when it comes to marriage \u2013 either staying in something that\u2019s a nightmare for the children when they should walk out the cage door, or bailing because they want a new piece of arse. Of course, I\u2019m biased having been through it, and seen many of my fiends go through it, from only the child\u2019s perspective. When I\u2019m working with teenagers and I see one off on their own crying, I pat them on the back and ask, \u201cFamily?\u201d\u00a0 If it\u2019s not after the activity centre disco (in which case it will be love rejection) it will be. They looked surprised but relived to know that someone might understand. \u201cLoving people sucks.\u201d I tell them. \u201cFamilies mess you up, but then you get your own kids to mess up so it all works out.\u201d They chuckle through the snot and say they don\u2019t love the people that they do and that they wont do it to their kids. They do and they will.<\/p>\n

They\u2019re two basic opinions about people. That we\u2019re born bad and need training (conservatives, Muslims, Christians, etc) or that we\u2019re essentially perfect but gradually get corrupted (liberals, Buddhists, pagans, etc). While children can be deceitful, cruel little shits from an early age, I\u2019m still basically in the latter camp that they\u2019re perfect too. All serious problems of children I\u2019ve worked with, have been given to them by the people that love them most.\u00a0 Now, that Alanis Morissette, is bloody ironic.<\/p>\n

The \u201cAi\u201d of aikido means harmony \u2013 a meeting \u2013 to join. It\u2019s the art of non-resistance and union; but there\u2019s also the \u201caiki widow\u201d, a person in a marriage doesn\u2019t train and hence never sees their partner. This calead to an \u201caikido divorce\u201d or \u201caiki-affairs.\u201d Cyprus has had it\u2019s own divorce and before the Turkish invasion much of the Greek speaking population were pressing for \u201cEunis\u201d,<\/strong> or union with Greece. Then there\u2019s my sister\u2019s wedding here. Things pulling apart and joining together – it all seems to mean something but I have no idea what. Life\u2019s like a joke told by a ten-year-old girl who mixes up the facts and puts the punch-line in the wrong place. Or maybe it\u2019s a book with the dates in the wrong order or even a box of retarded chocolates. I don\u2019t know, I was messed up by my parents same as everyone. That and other excuses which will become apparent.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here are the supporting narrative extracts from chapter three of my upcoming book The Body and Leadership. …………………………   12th September 2004, Somewhere over the Mediterranean The Body of Dreams My eyes bulge paranoid as I try to get my bearings. When you wake up quick, for the first few seconds you don\u2019t know who or where you are. In half a second I\u2019ve scanned the plane and know that I\u2019m safe this time. I unclench my fists and jaw.\u00a0 In two seconds I remember I\u2019m on a plane to Cyprus and must have dozed off. I breathe; I\u2019m not <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[110],"tags":[1062,1071,1182,1432,1539],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9xvDN-vj","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1941"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1941"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1941\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1941"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1941"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1941"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}