{"id":3364,"date":"2013-05-17T16:28:04","date_gmt":"2013-05-17T15:28:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/?p=3364"},"modified":"2013-05-17T16:28:04","modified_gmt":"2013-05-17T15:28:04","slug":"emotional-intelligence-leadership","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/2013\/05\/emotional-intelligence-leadership\/","title":{"rendered":"Emotional Intelligence and Leadership"},"content":{"rendered":"

This guest blog by Andy Smith is about emotional intelligence<\/a> and how it relates to leadership.<\/p>\n

Many people still think that emotions just get in the way of rational decision-making, and that they have no value in the modern workplace. It\u2019s true that if someone isn\u2019t managing their emotions, and they\u2019re erupting with anger all the time they are at work, that could be disruptive to work with. And at the same time, we need emotions to operate at all.<\/p>\n

For example, scientists have found that emotions are not the enemy of reason, as was traditionally supposed. Quite the reverse \u2013 neuropsychologists have studied people who have suffered the kind of brain damage where the connection is broken between the areas of the brain that process emotions and the thinking parts of the brain. The intellect still works fine, but these unfortunate people become completely incapable of making any kind of decision: when to make the next appointment with the brain specialist, whether or not to wear a tie, what to choose from the menu, they just can\u2019t do it \u2013 because without emotion, nothing matters to them. They can compare the pros and cons of each choice, but they don\u2019t get that feeling that tells them when to stop going down the list and just choose one or the other.<\/p>\n

In his book \u2018Emotional Intelligence\u2019, the bestselling author Daniel Goleman tells the story of one guy that this happened to \u2013 let\u2019s call him Elliott \u2013 who was a successful businessman. Within a short time of suffering brain damage as a result of tumour removal, his business had collapsed, his marriage had broken up, and he was living in a bedsit \u2013 all because he couldn\u2019t make any decisions without his emotions to help him, despite his intellect being unaffected. So you actually need emotion for your reason to work at all.<\/p>\n

Another reason that emotions help in leadership, as well as in every other area of your life, is that they give you information about how other people are feeling, which is helpful for guessing what they might do next, how they might react when you tell them something, when they are ready to follow you, or when you should either shut up or find a different way of getting your message across. If you didn\u2019t have that ability, you would constantly be putting your foot in it, saying the wrong thing, and be thought of as very hard to work with or for.<\/p>\n

Emotions also give us information about things in our environment that our conscious mind might have missed. You know when everything looks good on paper but you have a niggling feeling that you\u2019ve missed something? If you\u2019re smart, you\u2019ll recognise that that feeling is trying to tell you something, and you\u2019ll take another look to see what you\u2019ve missed.<\/p>\n

I want to distinguish here between these \u201csignal emotions\u201d which give you information about what\u2019s going on around you and which are quite fleeting \u2013 once you\u2019ve noticed them, there\u2019s no need for them to hang around \u2013 and \u201cmood\u201d, which is more persistent and can stick around for days or weeks. Mood is the baseline, and the signal emotions give you fleeting variations from that baseline. Positive psychologists like Barbara Frederickson have found that people are more productive, creative and resilient when their underlying mood is positive.<\/p>\n

Finally, emotions are what motivate us. We\u2019re not like robots, working at a constant rate all day. We can achieve far more when we are feeling motivated \u2013 either towards somewhere that we want to get to, or away from somewhere that we want to escape from. Effective leaders can evoke motivating emotions in the people who follow them; if a leader can\u2019t do that, they\u2019re at the mercy of events, and if people happen to be feeling down that day, not much will get done. Leaders, just as much as people who work for themselves, need effective ways of motivating themselves if they are going to achieve anything.<\/p>\n

So emotions are important because they help us to make decisions, they give us information about how other people are feeling and how they\u2019re going to act, and they are essential for motivation.<\/p>\n

In the last twenty years or so, researchers have been looking into something that\u2019s always been intuitively apparent: that IQ or intellectual ability on its own doesn\u2019t guarantee that you\u2019re going to be successful, in life or in business. There are plenty of extremely bright people doing dead-end jobs with no money and no close relationships.<\/p>\n

Clearly, you need something else as well: the ability to know what you are feeling and what\u2019s important to you, the ability to notice what other people are feeling, the ability to manage your own emotional state, and knowing how to handle and inspire emotions in others. Researchers such as John Mayer and Peter Salovey and Reuven Bar-on found that this set of abilities, which they called emotional intelligence, met all the academic criteria for being defined as a proper intelligence, and made a big difference to the results that people can achieve and consequently how successful they are.<\/p>\n

Daniel Goleman, who has done more than anyone else to bring the idea of emotional intelligence into the mainstream, has a neat four-quadrant model of emotional intelligence. It has \u2018self\u2019 and \u2018other\u2019 on one axis, and \u2018awareness\u2019 and \u2018actions\u2019 on the other. So the four quadrants are Self-Awareness (understanding your own emotions), Relationship Awareness or empathy (being aware of other people\u2019s emotions), emotional Self-Management, and being able to inspire and handle emotions in others, which he calls Relationship Management.<\/p>\n

\"Goleman\u2019s<\/p>\n

Goleman\u2019s four-quadrant model of emotional intelligence<\/p>\n

Self-Awareness<\/strong><\/p>\n

Self-Awareness is the foundation stone of emotional intelligence. To be able to lead wisely, you need to be aware of your own emotions. If you are not in touch with your own emotions, you will not be able to manage them or to recognise emotions accurately in others. In turn, without these competencies, you will not be good at managing relationships.<\/p>\n

Yet many people, maybe most people, aren\u2019t that self-aware. Our education system puts a lot of emphasis on facts and logic, not so much on tuning into your emotions. Most industrially developed cultures don\u2019t encourage you to pay attention to your emotions, especially in a business context. So it\u2019s not surprising that tuning into your emotions and what they are telling you, and noticing the impact that your emotions have on the people around you, is a skill that many people have to work at developing.<\/p>\n

Emotions and feelings are words that are used pretty much interchangeably, because emotions show up as feelings in our bodies. But because there are so many demands on our attention, and because we spend a lot of time reviewing the past or imagining the future rather than being fully in the present moment, we sometimes don\u2019t notice those feelings. So our emotions are still motivating us, causing us to act in certain ways, and affecting how well our physiological systems regulate themselves, without use being aware of it.<\/p>\n

The quick self-awareness exercise that follows is designed to check exactly what physiological and mental signs of your emotions you are experiencing right now. If you\u2019re driving or operating heavy machinery, you need to stop before you do this exercise, as you need your full attention.<\/p>\n

Embodied Self-Awareness Exercise<\/strong><\/p>\n

This exercise is based on the fact that emotions show up as physical feelings in your body, as well as possibly internal dialogue or mental images. For example, if I was getting angry at something, which is usually a valuable signal that someone is trying to violate my personal boundaries, sometimes the first sign I get is that I feel my fists beginning to clench slightly.<\/p>\n

The exercise that we\u2019re about to do involves closing your eyes and so you definitely shouldn\u2019t do it while you are driving or operating heavy machinery, or anywhere that you can\u2019t just switch your attention away from the outside world and within yourself.<\/p>\n

Note: clearly you won’t be able to read it with your eyes closed, so you can either get another person with a soothing voice to talk you through the exercise, or download episode 25 of the Practical NLP podcast and skip to the start of the exercise at 8m25s:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/coachingleaders.co.uk\/practical-nlp-podcast-emotional-intelligence<\/a><\/p>\n

Ready? OK. What\u2019s going on inside you at this very moment? Just get comfortable and close your eyes for a few seconds so you can focus your undivided attention. Whatever physical sensations you notice, you can ask them \u2013 if you choose \u2013 what they are trying to tell you, and leave some space for the answer to come back.<\/em><\/p>\n

First of all focus on your face. Notice if you feel any tightness or tension \u2013 in your cheeks, in your jaw, or in your forehead. How do your eyes feel? Are they still and relaxed, or frowning, or are your eyelids fluttering? Notice any tension in your scalp.<\/em><\/p>\n

Now become aware of your neck. Notice how that feels. And your shoulders, and across the base of your neck. Allow your attention to move down your arms to your hands. What sensations do you feel in your forearms, in your hands, and in your fingers? And if anything you feel were to be a valuable message, what is it trying to tell you?<\/em><\/p>\n

Now move your attention down to your chest and your back. Notice how your ribs and your back muscles feel. Notice your heartbeat. And notice your breathing \u2013 is it slow and relaxed, quick and shallow, or just regular? Notice any changes and decide whether they are significant for you.<\/em><\/p>\n

And move your focus down to around the stomach area. How does that feel?\u00a0 And what\u2019s that telling you?<\/em><\/p>\n

And \u2013 let your attention move down to your hips, and your legs. Notice any tension or movement anywhere along the way. And finally focus on your feet, and notice what you can feel in the soles of your feet\u2026 and in your toes.<\/em><\/p>\n

And any sensations you\u2019ve noticed through that process, especially sensations that you weren\u2019t aware of before, you can ask that part of the body what is it trying to tell you?<\/em><\/p>\n

And you may have noticed that the sensations, or any tensions or involuntary movements, may have changed or quietened down as you\u2019ve been focusing on them for a little while. <\/em><\/p>\n

Finally, notice if you are saying anything to yourself or any mental images that come to mind. And you can let those thoughts and feelings come\u2026 and go\u2026 observing them and realising that you are not just whatever thoughts and emotions you happen to be experiencing at the time\u2026 and if \u201cyou\u201d were just the sum total of your thoughts and emotions, then who is the \u201cyou\u201d that\u2019s observing them? And whatever you think you are, you\u2019re “all ways” more than that.<\/em><\/p>\n

So make sure you are back to normal everyday consciousness, with your eyes open, feeling relaxed and refreshed, and bringing back everything you\u2019ve learned so that it\u2019s there for you anytime in the future when you might need it.<\/em><\/p>\n

Most people who do that exercise find that they feel more relaxed than before. \u201cAttention is itself curative\u201d, as Fritz Perls said. And if you found any sensations increased, maybe because you weren\u2019t paying attention to them previously, it\u2019s worth asking\u00a0 yourself what they are trying to tell you.<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

Andy Smith is an Emotional Intelligence coach, Appreciative Inquiry facilitator, and NLP trainer who works worldwide. His blog, with lots of free tips, information and downloads, is at http:\/\/coachingleaders.co.uk<\/a><\/p>\n

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This guest blog by Andy Smith is about emotional intelligence and how it relates to leadership. Many people still think that emotions just get in the way of rational decision-making, and that they have no value in the modern workplace. It\u2019s true that if someone isn\u2019t managing their emotions, and they\u2019re erupting with anger all the time they are at work, that could be disruptive to work with. And at the same time, we need emotions to operate at all. For example, scientists have found that emotions are not the enemy of reason, as was traditionally supposed. Quite the reverse <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[295],"tags":[1185,1230,1235,1239,1241,1244,1250,1432,1690,1835],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9xvDN-Sg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3364"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3364"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3364\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3364"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3364"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3364"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}