{"id":3454,"date":"2013-06-12T16:39:28","date_gmt":"2013-06-12T15:39:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/?p=3454"},"modified":"2013-06-12T16:39:28","modified_gmt":"2013-06-12T15:39:28","slug":"confidence-training-resource","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/2013\/06\/confidence-training-resource\/","title":{"rendered":"Confidence Training Resources"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>The following comes from a handout used on an  Integration Training <a href=\"http:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/training_courses\/confidence_training\/\">confidence training course<\/a> that we provided in Brighton  recently.<\/div>\n<div><a rel=\"attachment wp-att-2642\" href=\"http:\/\/integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/2012\/02\/be-boss-like-boss.html\/cat-walk\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-2642\" title=\"Cat walk\" src=\"http:\/\/integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/Cat-walk-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/Cat-walk-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/Cat-walk-70x70.jpg 70w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/a><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\">Confidence &#8211; \u201cFreedom from doubt: belief in yourself and your  abilities\u201d<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>\u201cConfidence\u00a0is generally described as a state of  being &#8211; certain either that a chosen course of action is the best or most  effective. <\/em><a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Self-confidence\"><em>Self-confidence<\/em><\/a><em> is  having confidence in oneself.\u00a0Arrogance\u00a0or <\/em><a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Hubris\"><em>hubris<\/em><\/a><em> in  this comparison, is having unmerited confidence -believing something or someone  is capable or correct when they are not.\u201d<\/em><\/div>\n<p>We all have confidence at times and could do with a  little more at others. Confidence is an important and learnable skill that  enables us to use all our others skills, enjoy relationships and get the job  done. Confidence can be contrasted with aggression, passivity and being passive  aggressive. Confidence relies on emotional and embodied intelligence as well as  thought and language patterns.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Aggressive \u2013 bullying, judging, pushy,  bulldozing.<\/li>\n<li>Passive \u2013 a pushover. Not asking for what you want  or being able to say no.<\/li>\n<li>Passive Aggressive (indirect) \u2013 secretly resentful,  sarcastic, insinuating, vague or sabotaging.<\/li>\n<li>Assertive \u2013 asks for what is wanted and sets  standards clearly and politely. Responsible, honest and accepting.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Confidence comes from knowing your <strong>strengths. <\/strong>What are yours?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Self Esteem Building Activities<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Meaning and contribution, pleasure, competence \u2013 how  do you help people, what do you enjoy and what are you good at? Keep building on  these.<\/p>\n<div><strong>Embodied Confidence<\/strong><\/div>\n<div><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/div>\n<div>How we hold our bodies and how we move affects how  we feel, and what we communicate to others. Some techniques:<\/div>\n<ul>\n<li>The Star &#8211; \u201cReaching out\u201d in every direction<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Other aspects of body language relevant to  confidence include:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>smiling<\/li>\n<li>eye contact<\/li>\n<li>facing and body positioning<\/li>\n<li>gestures and hand movement<\/li>\n<li>breathing<\/li>\n<li>overall relaxation<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Other physical aspects such as health, diet, sleep,  exercise and appearance are also important.<\/p>\n<p><strong>ABC <a href=\"http:\/\/integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/2011\/05\/centring-definitive-guide.html\">Centring Practice <\/a>&#8211; Instilling confidence in  the body<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Aware<\/strong> \u2013 Be mindful of the present moment  using the five senses, especially feeling the body, ground (chair and feet) and  your breath<\/li>\n<li><strong>Balance<\/strong> \u2013 In posture and attention.\u00a0  Expansive feeling<\/li>\n<li><strong>Core <\/strong>Relaxation \u2013 Relax your mouth and  stomach &#8211; breathe deeply into your belly<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div>(Also &#8211; <strong>Connected <\/strong>to reason why you are doing  this and to other people)<\/div>\n<p><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=ZwlrQCl0cQk\">Centring Video<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Saying No and Asking for Help <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>These are both critical life and work skills that  relate to confidence. They take practice and are embodied emotional  capacities.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Thought Patterns That Reduce  Confidence<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>LACK OF CONTROL<\/strong><br \/>\ne.g. \u201cthere\u2019s nothing I can do\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>OVERGENERALISING<\/strong><br \/>\ne.g. \u201cIt always goes wrong\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>LABELLING<\/strong><br \/>\n\u201cI\u2019m a Failure&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong>PERSONALISING<\/strong><br \/>\n\u201cThey are misbehaving  because I\u2019m a bad volunteer\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>BLACK AND WHITE THINKING<\/strong><br \/>\n\u201cYou\u2019re either  with us or against us\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS<\/strong><br \/>\n\u201cThat one time  means it will always happen\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>CATASTROPHISING<\/strong><br \/>\n\u201cIt\u2019s the end of the  world!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE<\/strong><br \/>\n\u201cThat was a  fluke\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>&#8220;SHOULD&#8221; STATEMENTS<\/strong><br \/>\n\u201cI really should give  up\/turn up on time\u201d<strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>MIND READING<\/strong><br \/>\n\u201cI bet she hates  me\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>EMOTIONAL REASONING<\/strong><br \/>\n\u201cI feel bad so I must  be bad\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>SELF TO OTHER THINKING<\/strong><br \/>\n\u201cI think I\u2019m an  idiot so he must too\u201d<\/p>\n<div><strong>PERFECTIONISM<\/strong><\/div>\n<div>\u201cMy CV has to be perfect\u201d<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><strong>COMPARISONS<\/strong><\/div>\n<div>\u201cThat organisation is much richer than we  are\u201d<\/div>\n<p><em>From:\u00a0 <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cognitivebehaviourtherapy.org.uk\/\">http:\/\/www.cognitivebehaviourtherapy.org.uk\/<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=HoFNs-3r0Go\">http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=HoFNs-3r0Go<\/a><\/div>\n<p><strong>In conflict we have four choices:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Judge and blame them (causes conflict)<\/li>\n<li>Judge and blame ourselves (causes low self esteem)<\/li>\n<li>Listen to their feelings and needs<\/li>\n<li>Connect to our own feelings and needs (+ make doable  requests)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Virtues and Gratitude<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Research in the field of positive psychology shows  that awareness of one\u2019s virtues, and cultivating gratitude contributes strongly  to happiness and confidence.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Confidence Resources: <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Books<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Feel the fear and do it anyway<\/em> \u2013 Susan  Jeffers<\/p>\n<p><em>Taming Your Gremlins<\/em> \u2013 Richard  Carlson<\/p>\n<div><em>Instant Confidence <\/em>\u2013 Paul  McKenna<\/div>\n<p><em>The Assertiveness Pocketbook<\/em> \u2013 Max  Eggart<\/p>\n<div>&#8230;and there\u2019s plenty of others in the library<\/div>\n<p><em><strong>Websites <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/training_courses\/confidence_training\/\"><strong>http:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/training_courses\/confidence_training\/<\/strong><\/a><\/div>\n<div>Google \u201cConfidence\u201d\u00a0 e.g.\u00a0 \u00a0 <a href=\"http:\/\/www.take-your-power.com\/how-build-self-confidence.html\">http:\/\/www.take-your-power.com<\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.mindtools.com\"><\/a><\/div>\n<div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.mindtools.com\">www.mindtools.com<\/a> is also a good website with free resources<\/div>\n<div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><strong>If you have enjoyed reading this blog, take at look at the<\/strong><strong> following:<\/strong><em><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/em><\/div>\n<div>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/2011\/05\/centring-definitive-guide.html\">Stress and resilience tips <\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/2013\/05\/best-training-videos-leadership-stress-etc.html\">Best training videos <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>If you would you like to submit a relevant guest blog, please <a href=\"http:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/contact\/\">contact us here<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The following comes from a handout used on an Integration Training confidence training course that we provided in Brighton recently. Confidence &#8211; \u201cFreedom from doubt: belief in yourself and your abilities\u201d \u201cConfidence\u00a0is generally described as a state of being &#8211; certain either that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective. Self-confidence is having confidence in oneself.\u00a0Arrogance\u00a0or hubris in this comparison, is having unmerited confidence -believing something or someone is capable or correct when they are not.\u201d We all have confidence at times and could do with a little more at others. Confidence is an important and <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[198],"tags":[1143,1144,1147,1148,1149],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9xvDN-TI","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3454"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3454"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3454\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3454"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3454"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3454"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}