{"id":822,"date":"2010-09-28T10:52:54","date_gmt":"2010-09-28T09:52:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/?p=822"},"modified":"2010-09-28T10:52:54","modified_gmt":"2010-09-28T09:52:54","slug":"emotionally-intelligent-communication","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/2010\/09\/emotionally-intelligent-communication\/","title":{"rendered":"Emotionally Intelligent Communication"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here’s some tips on emotionally intelligent communication, based upon\u00a0NonViolent Communication<\/a> (NVC) by Marshall Rosenberg and used on our <\/strong>communication training\u00a0courses<\/strong><\/a> and <\/strong>emotional intelligence training<\/strong><\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

Separating Observations from\u00a0 Judgements in Communication<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Observations are facts that could be recorded by a video camera that no one would argue with. They are specific, impartial and great for setting standards, giving feedback and making requests.<\/p>\n

E.g. \u201cYou came in at 9.20 or later three times this week.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe report was 296 pages long.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJohn left the office in tears yesterday after talking with you\u201d<\/p>\n

Judgements can also be called evaluations, assessments and opinions.\u00a0 They are related to blame, moralistic language, generalisations, denial of responsibility, demands and threats<\/p>\n

e.g. \u201cYou\u2019re always late!\u201d (generalisation)<\/p>\n

\u201cYou a rubbish secretary.\u201d Also, \u201cYou\u2019re a great secretary!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJanine is too old\u201d (can be subtle)<\/p>\n

\u201cI feel like you don\u2019t do enough work.\u201d (a judgement disguised as a feeling \u2013 tricky!)<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

Needs and values in Communication<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Needs are things all people share which are not strategies for getting something else and are essential to health, happiness and productivity.\u00a0 Values are what people hold to be important and are closely related. Connecting to your own and other people\u2019s needs or values is the most powerful way I know of managing \u201cdifficult\u201d behaviour.<\/p>\n

Feelings point to met or unmet needs and are temporary. Moods are longer lasting and less visible from the inside. People can get trapped in a mood for years and colour their perceptions and interactions so it is important to be aware of them.<\/p>\n

Needs Include:<\/p>\n

Survival needs (if these aren\u2019t met people generally don\u2019t care about the others)<\/p>\n

Air, food, water, sleep, touch, shelter, exercise<\/p>\n

Social Needs (the ones workplace disputes are most frequently about)<\/p>\n

Consideration, respect, autonomy, dignity, appreciation, community, acceptance, support, care, understanding, trust, empathy, contribution<\/p>\n

Depth Needs (also important but rarely discussed in many workplaces)<\/p>\n

Harmony, beauty, order, peace, meaning, self-esteem, creativity, authenticity\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Requests\/ Standards<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Clear standards and requests help to avoid conflict and manage \u201cdifficult\u201d behaviour. Make them concrete, doable, positive (i.e. what you want not what you don\u2019t want) and timed.<\/p>\n

e.g.\u00a0 I\u2019d like you to be at your desk and working by 9.00am five days a week.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s powerful to let people know why you\u2019d like something by connecting it to YOUR needs or values.<\/p>\n

e.g. because the rest of team begin work at this time and equity is really important to me.<\/p>\n


\n<\/span><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here’s some tips on emotionally intelligent communication, based upon\u00a0NonViolent Communication (NVC) by Marshall Rosenberg and used on our communication training\u00a0courses and emotional intelligence training. Separating Observations from\u00a0 Judgements in Communication Observations are facts that could be recorded by a video camera that no one would argue with. They are specific, impartial and great for setting standards, giving feedback and making requests. E.g. \u201cYou came in at 9.20 or later three times this week.\u201d \u201cThe report was 296 pages long.\u201d \u201cJohn left the office in tears yesterday after talking with you\u201d Judgements can also be called evaluations, assessments and opinions.\u00a0 They <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1028,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[189],"tags":[1136,1250,1253,1254,1493,1558,1562,1835],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/communication.jpg","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9xvDN-dg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/822"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=822"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/822\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1028"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=822"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=822"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=822"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}