{"id":895,"date":"2010-07-02T10:57:30","date_gmt":"2010-07-02T09:57:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/?p=895"},"modified":"2010-07-02T10:57:30","modified_gmt":"2010-07-02T09:57:30","slug":"stress-management-and-acceptance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/2010\/07\/stress-management-and-acceptance\/","title":{"rendered":"Stress Management and Acceptance"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Here&#8217;s a guest blog by Stephanie Goddard on<\/strong><a href=\"http:\/\/integrationtraining.co.uk\/\"><strong> stress management<\/strong><\/a><strong> and acceptance.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re stressed.\u00a0 I know without you even saying it.\u00a0 How?\u00a0 Because that is <em>everyone\u2019s <\/em>answer to, \u201cHow are you?\u201d\u00a0 All day long.\u00a0 And, frankly, I\u2019m tired of hearing about it.\u00a0Stress is a badge of honor.\u00a0 We LOVE to be stressed.\u00a0 It makes us feel vital, alive and needed.\u00a0 Right up until it sucks.\u00a0You didn\u2019t backspace to another article.\u00a0 You may be ready to finally shake those old scripts your parents and your teachers put into place and start to think for yourself.\u00a0 It\u2019s about time too.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe you find this tone refreshing\u2026or maybe you are insulted and continuing to read so that you can prove my advice to you as incorrect, and therefore, make me wrong.\u00a0 Either way, you are judging the situation.<\/p>\n<p>In the first scenario, you\u2019ve decided to like me.\u00a0 In the second, you don\u2019t.\u00a0 But these are words on a page.\u00a0 They are objective pieces of black and white text put in a certain order and are as various and changeable as the number of people who read them.\u00a0 And that\u2019s true with every single thing you see.<\/p>\n<p>You (and I) make decisions constantly that put us in the state of acceptance or the state of resistance.\u00a0 That latter state&#8212;that\u2019s the one that is the problem.\u00a0 That\u2019s the state of stress.<\/p>\n<p>Ask yourself these questions:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Is it true that you aren\u2019t really trying or helping if you aren\u2019t stressed?<\/li>\n<li>Can you be of use if you give just a little and remain calm?<\/li>\n<li>Do you believe we will judge you if you aren\u2019t trying hard?<\/li>\n<li>Are you judging ME for suggesting you give without hurting yourself in the process?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>You will forever be stressed unless you do one thing, constantly, every day:\u00a0 accept what is.\u00a0 Are you thinking something like:<em> \u201cBut if I accept my boss just like he\/she is, then they will run over me.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cThe oil spill!\u00a0 I can\u2019t accept such a tragedy\u2026that\u2019s irresponsible!\u201d \u00a0 My children\u2026I must tell them how to live, how to act, how to be in this world!\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n<p>In the famous words of Dr. Phil:\u00a0 <em>How\u2019s that workin\u2019 for ya?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/stress_work.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-897\" title=\"stress_work\" src=\"http:\/\/integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/stress_work-194x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"194\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/stress_work-194x300.jpg 194w, https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/stress_work.jpg 259w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 194px) 100vw, 194px\" \/><\/a>When I tell you to accept EVERYTHING that is happening to you, that\u2019s exactly what I mean.\u00a0 Not the little things; not the stuff you like; but ALL of it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Reality and Stress<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Reality or Life or Nature or the Universe\u2026God.\u00a0 It\u2019s all the same thing.\u00a0 And it\u2019s in charge.\u00a0 You are not.\u00a0 The sooner you get your stressed-out mind around THAT, the sooner you will know a calm that will rival any Zen Master.<\/p>\n<p>To resist what is happening is not only ineffective, it\u2019s pure arrogance.\u00a0 Who are YOU to resist what is happening?\u00a0 A traffic jam ahead?\u00a0 Your boss didn\u2019t say thank you?\u00a0 Is it too hot\/cold?\u00a0 How many thoughts a day do you have like this?\u00a0 Hundreds?\u00a0 And have you found that your resistance to a thing, a traffic jam for instance, has changed that thing?\u00a0 Has the traffic started moving because you raged and pounded on your steering wheel? How many more times will you try that technique before you try another way?<\/p>\n<p>Maybe you\u2019ve heard this before\u2026maybe you\u2019ve heard it enough to think, \u2018Well, why do I have to stop getting involved and try to change circumstances and people, but the writer of this article is trying to do the same thing to me?\u00a0 What gives HER the right?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s why I\u2019m allowed to attempt to change your mind about your mind:\u00a0 because you sought me out.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t come looking for you.\u00a0 I have a very limited, specialized area of knowledge and a responsibility to myself and my God to share it.\u00a0 When it\u2019s needed.\u00a0 When it\u2019s asked for.\u00a0 I don\u2019t go around preaching or forcing.\u00a0 I make it available, and let it land on a ready-mind or let it remain unread.\u00a0 Not my business.\u00a0 Not my world.\u00a0 I can\u2019t bend reality to my desire.\u00a0 I can only act when I feel motivated to do so, with no expectation of how it SHOULD turn out.\u00a0 And I am rarely stressed.<\/p>\n<p>I am stressed about 10-20% of the time.\u00a0 You may be thinking, \u201cWell, shouldn\u2019t the owner of a stress management website NEVER experience stress?\u201d\u00a0 I supposed that\u2019s about as reasonable as asking a doctor why he\/she gets sick.\u00a0 Are you back to trying to be right by making me wrong?\u00a0 Why do you do that?\u00a0 Do you not want your mind changed?\u00a0 Are you really tired of being stressed?\u00a0 I have no stake either way.\u00a0 It\u2019s your state of mind to do with as you like.<\/p>\n<p>But if 10-20% sounds good to you, then simply hear what I do to make that true\u2026and you can take it or leave it:\u00a0 I accept what is happening.\u00a0 I accept it all.\u00a0 The good, the \u201cbad\u201d, the traffic jam.\u00a0 I notice that whether I agree with what is happening&#8212;or whether I rage against it&#8212;what is\u2026is.\u00a0 And I don\u2019t get a say in it.\u00a0 All I get is my acceptance or my resistance.<\/p>\n<p>Why not try it?\u00a0 Try it for an hour.\u00a0 Try it for a day.\u00a0 When you find you aren\u2019t doing it, don\u2019t judge\u2026don\u2019t resist the natural tendency that was taught to you for many, many years.\u00a0 Just <em>notice<\/em> it, and gently put yourself back into accepting whatever is happening.\u00a0 Act when you feel absolutely wonderful.\u00a0 Let everyone and everything unfold.\u00a0 Get out of the way and see how the day turns out pretty much the same way it does every day.\u00a0 With or without your approval.<\/p>\n<p>There really is no other sane option.<\/p>\n<p>&#8230;&#8230;..<\/p>\n<p><img src=\"webkit-fake-url:\/\/F506CCCF-6C80-4A43-BB1E-05889CEBBA4E\/Stephanie-Goddard_66124.jpg\" alt=\"Stephanie-Goddard_66124.jpg\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>From the book jacket <\/em><\/strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.work-stress-solutions.com\/work-stress-books.html\"><strong><em>&#8216;101 Ways to Love Your Job&#8217; <\/em><\/strong><\/a><strong><em> <\/em><\/strong><em>Stephanie Goddard (Davidson) is considered a subject matter expert in workplace communications and specializes in leadership and interpersonal skills training. Her clients include many Fortune 500 companies as well as non-profit and public sector employers.\u00a0Frequently appearing as a guest on radio programs and published in numerous articles on workplace communications, Stephanie is the author of <\/em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&amp;location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2F101-Ways-Have-Great-Work%2Fdp%2F1402207794%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1224197982%26sr%3D8-1&amp;tag=workstresolu-20&amp;linkCode=ur2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325\"><em>&#8216;<\/em><\/a><em>101 Ways to Have a Great Day at Work&#8217;<img src=\"webkit-fake-url:\/\/3F87D934-C12C-4514-8D7F-78FEB995527D\/pastedGraphic.pdf\" alt=\"pastedGraphic.pdf\" \/> which is an Amazon &#8216;business-bestseller&#8217;; a SHRM bestseller; and has been translated into 14 languages.\u00a0She is also a nationally-certified trainer in numerous stress management techniques.\u00a0Stephanie lives in Raleigh, NC where she creates and conducts workshops as well as provides coaching to her local government&#8217;s employees including EMS personnel, social workers, elected officials, law enforcement officers, rescue workers, engineers and city planners. She is also the owner of <\/em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.work-stress-solutions.com\"><em>Work-Stress-Solutions.Com.<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&#8230;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>If you liked this article you may also like:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/integrationtraining.co.uk\/free_online_stress_resources.html\">stress management tips<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/2010\/05\/acceptance-and-stress.html\">stress management and acceptance<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/2010\/05\/acceptance-and-stress.html\">stress symptoms<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/2010\/06\/how-to-send-an-employee-crazy.html\">how to stress people out <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s a guest blog by Stephanie Goddard on stress management and acceptance. &#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.. You\u2019re stressed.\u00a0 I know without you even saying it.\u00a0 How?\u00a0 Because that is everyone\u2019s answer to, \u201cHow are you?\u201d\u00a0 All day long.\u00a0 And, frankly, I\u2019m tired of hearing about it.\u00a0Stress is a badge of honor.\u00a0 We LOVE to be stressed.\u00a0 It makes us feel vital, alive and needed.\u00a0 Right up until it sucks.\u00a0You didn\u2019t backspace to another article.\u00a0 You may be ready to finally shake those old scripts your parents and your teachers put into place and start to think for yourself.\u00a0 It\u2019s about time too. Maybe <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":897,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[822],"tags":[991,1477,1653,1748,1759,1835],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/stress_work.jpg","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9xvDN-er","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/895"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=895"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/895\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/897"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=895"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=895"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.integrationtraining.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=895"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}