Guidance for single men on finding your life partner.

You might not like it as I’m not pulling punches, and women probably shouldn’t read it, but trust it’s from love. I’m just married and may just have got lucky of course, and newly-weds are fucking insufferably smug, but I was searching a while and a lot of what I’m going to say relates to my professional work in charisma and embodiment, so there may be something in it… So, how do you get wifed/husbanded (not sure how much applies to gay guys, mostly written with women in mind, let me know)?

– First find your work in the world. Purpose makes men attractive. You don’t have to be externally successful but you do need a point, and you do need to be going somewhere. I’ve coached many men around this and the kind of women they attract when they get their shit together is a quantum leap higher.
– Face death and find your edge. There’s a totally different quality to a man who has done this compared to a boy who hasn’t.
– Sort your dad and mum stuff out you fucking nutcase. Do the shadow work or you’ll be a boy trying to fuck your mum and that’s creepy.
– How you treat the women in your family is noticed. If you don’t have any, get female friends – they are aliens and you don’t know shit.
– Be healthy – you don’t need a six-pack but look like you won’t have a heart attack after five minutes fucking a wife or playing with a kid. How you treat yourself is the best you’ll treat her and she knows that intuitively.
– Learn to fight, and learn to make money, the protective and provider thing matters, even to “alternative” women, don’t kid yourself. Oh and learn to dance too, to balance that out. Being able to dance is a basic courtship and life skill.
– Get comfortable spending time with other men doing challenging or competitive stuff. If you can’t handle other men you can’t handle women and they don’t want you.
– Get in your body and learn a little emotional intelligence (without getting too fucking “sensitive” – this is actually bad self-regulation and that’s really unattractive). A head on a stick isn’t appealing and attraction is visceral. You won’t even notice when you really like someone if you’re cut off from yourself.
– Play with children often and lovingly.
– Know your values deeply and look for ways these are revealed in potential partners in ACTIONS (not words) for compatibility.
– Getting clear what you’re looking for helps. Choose 4 (not more) “must haves”. Also know your strengths and what you have to offer – play to these, we all have them. Any half decent coach can help with these two.
– Understand embodied sexual polarity – similar values attract but opposite types attract. Don’t confuse these. Build embodied range and you’ll stand out as “more alive”.
– It’s all about the network and introductions.
– Ignore all the advice from women on “the right one of out there for you and you just have to wait” and all that bullshit – it’s a yin perspective and doesn’t apply if you’re a yang guy (most of this advice is for yang guys which is 3/4 of us). You need to go after potential partners proactively. Hunt. Travel – your stock will go up hugely (think British accent in USA) and it’s good genetics.  😉
– Get used to meeting strangers and giving them sincere compliments. Flirt daily – it takes practice. The trick is to enjoy leaving someone feeling more beautiful and to be unattached to the outcome.
– If you meet someone you think is suitable be persistent but not a pushy jerk. No is no and women do the choosing.
– A good sign is not just you’re really excited by each other but that you’re really comfortable too. Gotta feel like home.
– Then just adore her and your done. Boom

Women may disagree strongly with many of these but don’t listen to them. Good luck brothers!