I am obsessed with resilience and stress management and resilience training and have been dedicating myself to a project called Achilles,  supporting the well-being of those working in conflict-zones. When asked what this project was about by a friend recently I said simply “It’s about stopping people going nuts” which he got straight away.  It also made me realise that much of the psychological literature relating to stress management, trauma, PTSD and resilience is heavily jargon-laden and not much use to many people looking for down-to-earth pratical advive on staying sane and bouncing back from adversity. This inspired me to condense the basics of cognitive behavioural therapy  (CBT is a part of Achilles) into ten rules of thumb utilizing the versatile concept of…shit. Please excuse the profanity, humour is used by resilient people and makes the concepts easier to remember.

I hope these will be of use as reminders of resilient thinking and behaviours for armed services personnel, emergency services staff, journalists under fire, NGO workers and others in challenging circumstances. Please spread this shit.

The 10 Rules of Shit – Get a Resilient Shit Head

Shit happens

– Deal with life on life’s terms and accept shit changing

Shit things happen to good people

– Bad things happen to people who do not deserve them

Some shit you can shovel, some you just gotta learn to live with the stink

Change what you can, accept what you can’t. For shovelling shit problem solve and set concrete manageable goals

It’s your shit

– Accept responsibility and get on with it. Blaming others won’t help…even if they’re to blame

The shit in your head is the real shit

It’s your attitudes and how you interpret life that make the shit shitty or not. Realistic optimism is a good start. Ask is the shit in my head real? Is it helpful? Is there another perceptive?

Your shit is never as big as it smells and no shit stinks forever

– Keep perspective – do not make bad things permanent, all about you or all pervasive when they’re not. One shit doesn’t make you, or the whole world shit

Talk about your shit, people give a shit

– It’s good to talk shit, it will make you feel better and others don’t mind. This is not the same as wallowing in your shit or giving other people shit sandwiches

..and get your shit together

– Being both physically healthy, able to manage (but not repress emotions) and getting organised with supportive routines helps

Play with your shit

– Having a sense of humour and keeping flexible are vital

Turn the shit into manure

– What is this shit doing that could make it positive? What could you learn, how are you growing? Is it really “shit” at all?

And here’s some shit to avoid:

Pretending your shit doesn’t stink and trying to hold in your shit forever

No one’s buying that shit. You will explode in a shit-storm if you don’t deal with your shit

Not giving a shit about others

Don’t be a shit just because life’s shitty

Chucking your shit like a monkey in a zoo

– “It’s all their fault”,”you’re to blame”, “I’d be less stressed if only blah, blah, blah”.  AKA “shit sandwiches”

Saying you can’t change shit/ wallowing in shit

You are not a victim, no matter how shitty things get, ask concentration camp survivor Viktor Frankl if in doubt

Doing the same old shit

Adapt to changing circumstance, be flexible and creative

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The Video

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I hope this was of use, there are also some free stress tips here.