My chosen field of study and work is embodied training. When I tell people this they normally think I mean body language and this is frustrating as they are some critical differences. Describing them has also led me to be very clear about what is not helpful in body language training as it is traditionally done. I now offer what I call body language training as this is the better known term but the training content is a world apart from the normal farcical set of misunderstandings.
Why Traditional Body Language Training Is a Waste of Time
Despite the massive importance of the body in communication and leadership body language training doesn’t work that well and when it does it’s usually unethical. This is pretty bold claim so let me explain. Many others intuitively feels this way and are “turned-off” body language, here’s my analysis of why:
Context and Reductionism
Much body language training says if someone does X then it means Y. The classic example is saying that crossing arms means you are defensive. Does it? …Well it depends. Cultural, situational, personal and interpersonal factors are all important. In the arms crossed example, it could mean I am cold, it could just be a habit picked up from a parent, it could be the norm in a country or sub-
culture, etc. So it depends. Some schools use only the perceived effect on an observer of body signals and do not claim to know underlying meaning but these can fall into the same trap of reducing and prematurely labeling the wealth of embodied human experience.
Gesture Not Posture and Movement
Better body language training acknowledges the context issue and looks for changes from a base-line however they are still looking at the wrong things. Body language nearly always focuses on static poses and fleeting gestures. However, posture – the overall pattern of a person’s body and their manner of movement are much more important that if someone has their legs crossed one way or another for example. The vast majority of body language trainers have a woefully inadequate understanding how people move and deep postures. Warren Lamb wrote on this many years ago but he has been largely ignored which is a shame.
No Personal Internal Embodied Wisdom
The body as relates to leadership and communication is best understood internally – this field, called somatics – the “lived” experience of the body – provides a wealth of first-hand knowledge that is far superior to the crude theories of body language “experts”. By working for years in fields such as dance, martial arts and therapeutic bodywork a way of understanding the body is gleaned that realises the importance of such factors as attention and intention, imagery and emotion. Through cultivating high levels of personal body awareness intuition to other’s bodies is built (though recognition of mirroring and having enough personal range to understand others). People who have read a few books and don’t have these skills so are best ignored when it comes to the body.
Authenticity
This is the big one – the gestures that body language training teaches people make them look inauthentic for the reason so far discussed- see Tony Blair for a great example! “The body doesn’t lie” as Martha Graham said and we “leak” what is really going on for us out of the many channels of the body. It is impossible to control everything the body is doing form foot movement to blink rate and as other people are great unconscious BS detectors there is little point faking it. Body language experts and people they train just come across as inauthentic, untrustworthy and a bit creepy and weird the vast majority of the time because of this -we know they are full of it. Professional liars such as actors and politicians have to train for many years to have a chance at fooling us and yet we usually know when someone is trying to fake it.
Ethics
I have found most body language training and similar NLP body “tricks” don’t work that well, however when they do – and people who are not body aware themselves can be fooled for short periods I worry about the ethics of it. How is teaching people to pretend to be trustworthy in sales for example in any way a moral way to earn a living? Body language is at best ethically neutral a more normally of interest to those with an interest in manipulation – see the world of “pick-up” for some examples of this.
The Fundamental Issue with Body Language Training
Perhaps the most fundamental criticism I have of body language training is that it is concerned with doing not being. Rather than working with the body as a tool for genuine transformative change at the level of who someone is, it teaches cheap tricks. Because of the lack of internal awareness raising and external practices that can actually build a different way of operating in the world – authentically and effectively – body language is giving a bad name to anyone who works with the body. I hope this article has made some distinctions that those considering such training find helpful.
NB: Many of these points were bought home to be after watching a number of DVDs by Michael Grindler (as good and as bad as it gets in the body language field – see below) and doing a session with one of his UK students, so genuine thanks to them for helping me differentiate body language form the embodied work I love.
If you have enjoyed this article you may like to take a look at:
- 7 Essential Embodied Tools for Leadership, Training and HR
- Leadership and the Body
- Training, Coaching and the Body
If your organisation is looking at leadership training in the workplace then call us on (+44) (0) 1273 906828.
To receive the Integration Training newsletter with free tips and news of events please click on the link below
Sign up for our Email Newsletter
Michelle C Scott
Excellent article. I entirely agree. I have always thought most perceived body language rules only apply to a smallish percentage of the population. I agree the ‘crossed arms means boredom or lack of engagement’ one is nonsense – people cross their arms for comfort if their chair doesn’t have armrests!
Mark Walsh
indeed!
Chris Markiewicz
Tremendous Mark. A breath of fresh air in the mire of “outside in” body language “techniques” training. Are you, like myself, someone who has difficulty with the word “techniques” in respect of this topic?
Whilst I talk about body language on my programmes I stress to participants that I NEVER teach it. I see body language as quite simply being a reflection of what goes on under the surface, hence there is no way we can fake it in a sustainable way.
By the way, Mark I recall reading Ken Dychtwald’s book Bodymind some years back and the exercise his teacher (can’t now remember who) who could tell each student their entire emotional history simply by asking them to walk naked into the room and stand in front of the group.
Great stuff
Chris
Alfons
I don’t see any shortcomings in “Traditional Body Language Training”. You just need to look at for whom it was created: Business People. And their main objective is creating money, streamline processes to get hold of more money, and do everything necessary to get benefit from the business.
So “Traditional Body Language Training” is just another book/seminar/treat in between the big shelf of how to improve business. It’s nothing personal. Just something that might give an advantage, improve making business, might improve the climate inside a business.
I can’t think of any other reason why “Traditional Body Language Training” should have come into being. Therefore, as a therapist, it’s quite interesting to lean over to another field, and to see what they are doing and studying. Of course you immediately see the shortcomings, since it was only designed to make money, for clients who want to make more money themselves. It’s just logic that it’s deeply flawed and your list: Authenticity, Ethics, Embodied Wisdom is merely a scratching on a surface with no body behind. They moved on since longtime, there’s new books out there, new systems, new methods, new fads; nothing of substance, but stimulating, nice little gifts to send to your business partners and creating hope to be ahead of the competition for a couple of weeks.
Mark Walsh
Hi Alfons,
Thanks for your comments. I work with business and business is concerned with what works. I have no problem with people making money.
All the best,
Mark
Lavinia Plonka
It was a pleasure to read someone whose ideas resonate with mine. I will link this to my blog http:thecreativebody.com (not as prolific as you) but I’d actually love to re-post the article with your permission. Don’t know if you know my book – Walking Your Talk – but it’s body language based on Feldenkrais. Love the parallel thinking!
Mark Walsh
Thanks Lavina and yes, please repost with a link to my site if you’re willing? 🙂
Mark