As Olympic fever starts to engulf the UK, I ask myself what would an Olympics for learning and development look like? Here are a few ideas for what fellow trainers and coaches could battle it out competing in:
A gruelling series of red-tape-heavy forms to fill out to work for the few government bodies left buying training.
Pre-course Questionnaire Chase
Trainers run after future delegates to get them to fill in a questionnaire which will take at least 2 minutes to do.
Difficult Delegate Dodge
Annoying delegates throw a series of awkward questions at trainers. Written on throwing stars.
Trainers compete to get a group of delegates to keep their phones off in training. Current record: 4.5 minutes.
Coach Training Sprint
How quickly can you produce a “fully trained” coach to join the unemployed masses on Twitter?
The Job-Title Toss
Trainers compete for the most ludicrously pretentious job titles. “Minervan educational facilitation guru” anyone?
In this event spectator participation is compulsory and trainers win points by keeping people awake teaching inductions and health and safety.
Trainers bend themselves out of shape to please HR manager judges with smiley faced scorecards that in no way reflect ability.
Accounts Javelin and Archery
The closing event where late-paying accounts departments are impaled on a variety of sharp objects…Just my personal Olympic dream.
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